Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

image

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)


hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

(via bigbagoflittledonuts)


laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

(via my-superman-plays-guitar)


roarkshop:

characterless94:

voglio-scopare:

petrapansneverland:

ultrafunnypictures:

THIS. 100 times, this.

Yes please

Dude, this is so well said.

Sooooo you want revenge? 

The fact that you think this is revenge at least on some level implies that you’re aware that Hooters is despicable and this stuff is wrong. It’s almost as if you recognize that it’s something worth avenging in the first place. 

roarkshop:

characterless94:

voglio-scopare:

petrapansneverland:

ultrafunnypictures:

THIS. 100 times, this.

Yes please

Dude, this is so well said.

Sooooo you want revenge? 

The fact that you think this is revenge at least on some level implies that you’re aware that Hooters is despicable and this stuff is wrong. It’s almost as if you recognize that it’s something worth avenging in the first place. 

(via the-secret-stache)


darthstitch:

LEGOLAS, YOU HAVE MY AXE. (x)

darthstitch:

LEGOLAS, YOU HAVE MY AXE. (x)

(via joker171990)


naturalsceneries:

A sunset from behind Seljalandsfoss waterfall, Iceland.  photo by David Shield

naturalsceneries:

A sunset from behind Seljalandsfoss waterfall, Iceland. photo by David Shield

(via crimson-daisies)


Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our life.
Unknown  (via reborn-2014)

(via crimson-daisies)


underthenerdhood:

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

(via crimson-daisies)



(via jaideypoo)